How to prepare your child for a photo session
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Once you’re all booked and you have your outfits picked out, the next thing on your mind might be your children.
If your kids are anything like mine they seem to be able to work out exactly what you’re hoping for on any given day then do… well pretty much the exact opposite. No? Just me!?
When we’re planning to get family photos taken our hopes may be sky high. Joyful, relaxed, beautiful photos where our children follow every instruction to the letter and smile perfectly. Wouldn’t that be something!? But I’m here to tell you that at least some of those things are possible.
Here are my top tips for preparing your kids for this year’s photos:
1- It’s all in the label
Photo shoot, photo session, family photos… all of these things have the potential to conjure up pictures in your kids minds of school photos or being forced to smile. If there’s any way around it, avoid these terms! For younger kids, you can just tell them we’re going for a little play in the woods/park/at the beach and a friend is coming along with her camera. For older kids, let them know you’re hoping to have some fun together and photograph it. You may not be able to avoid it completely, but sometimes re-packaging the experience can help with expectations.
2- A fantastic opportunity for fun!
You know how much your kids love to have real, quality time with you. No screens, no jobs needing to be done, no distractions. For me, that is what family photos are all about. In the week before your session, chat to them about how much you’re looking forward to spending some time with them this weekend. Talk about how you’re going to play games, have cuddles, dance, and joke around - whatever would most appeal to your family. My three year old gets really annoyed at me if I look at my phone during dinner or when we’re playing, they really notice! Make it clear that this is a phone and distraction free time you’re going to spend together.
3- Keep it simple, keep it calm.
Despite all the discussions and options for labelling that I’m mentioning here, the main thing is just not making a big deal about it! If they feel like you’re tense and pushing something they’ll often push back. Don’t overthink it! (I know… I say that after writing a whole article on it!)
4- Outfits
If you’ve read my ‘How to dress your family for your mini session’ article you’ll already be well versed in the aesthetics and practicalities of wardrobe choices. The caveat to that here is that for your children to be happy and to feel part of the session, they need to feel like they’ve had some control and also need to be comfortable in what they’re wearing. Depending on your child, this may be as simple as laying out some (pre-approved) choices for them. For older children this might mean getting them involved in choosing the whole ensemble, talking through the reasons why some options may or may not work. My oldest loves to shop for new clothes and is always so excited to wear them! For the very littlest your priority will be dressing them in something that isn’t going to bother them or trip them up when they’re just learning to walk. The TLDR version would be - Your children need to be happy and comfortable in their outfit, this is even more important than it looking good!
5- Keep expectations realistic!
Are you picturing your family all sitting still, looking at the camera and smiling beautifully? Are you envisioning them following every direction to the letter without delay, waiting patiently when they’re not being photographed? Are you expecting that intricate hairstyle and those carefully washed and ironed clothes remaining pristine? If so, you have higher expectations for your family than I do for mine!! As you know, kids have a way of flipping our expectations on their heads and doing things their own way. Want to know a secret? I’m actually okay with that. If your child doesn’t want to do something, isn’t comfortable or is absolutely fascinated by the leaves on the trees rather than following the latest bit of direction, we will take their lead - happily. We may re-direct or come up with a new engaging game to draw them back in, but we won’t expect things that just aren’t likely to happen. I promise you, this works out best for everyone!
6- Day of - before your session
I highly recommend making the time before your session as low pressure as possible. If you’re out and about, try to keep the activities fun and not too tiring. Make sure they’re fed, watered and napped sufficiently. If the getting dressed and ready phase is likely to cause stress, think about putting on a movie or their favourite tv show while you sneak off to get yourself ready, then jump them into their clothes at the last minute. Whatever keeps everyone smiling and on good terms with each other! Sometimes this goes for partners, too!
7- Day of - after your session
Make plans to do something as a family afterwards as well. Could you go out for lunch or dinner? Plan a family movie night? Visit a park or activity that’s known to be a favourite as a treat? I’m not big on bribing, although sometimes a powerful tool, but knowing there’s something else to look forward to when you’re done can be good motivation if little ones are feeling a bit nervous before we start.
8- Trust the process!
Come to the session knowing that I’ve got you! That I’m not expecting Stepford kids and would honestly not know what to do with them if I got them. I thrive on the fun, silliness and spontaneity that kids (big and small) bring to the table. If children are feeling a bit anxious or unsure, resulting in them appearing to be shy or to be ignoring direction, we have a much higher chance of them coming out of their shell if we give them the space to be themselves and come round on their terms. I’m never insulted or worried if a child doesn’t immediately want to talk to me or join in, so you don’t have to be worried about that either. Trust me! On the day, focus on just enjoying your time together and rolling with the process.
You know your children or child best, so only you know the best ways to approach introducing the concept of a photo session to them. If there are bits of advice that ring true here for you, great! Take them, expand them and run with them. If there are things that you just know won’t work for your kids, ignore them. The main things are for us, as adults, to keep our expectations low and allow the kids to lead where necessary. And have fun!
Do you have any other suggestions or ideas? Drop me a comment!